Saturday 5 March 2016


 Hello friends, hope you are all doing well and having a great week.

 Today's blog title might seem a bit controversial but I need a little favour from you- please don't judge me until the end of the article. 

My mother came to visit about a month ago and  it was great to have her around but sometimes our differences were glaring. I have a pretty good relationship with my mother that came from a place of fearless honesty- sometimes I am amazed at how well she takes some of my frank comments.

Anyhoo I was reading Proverbs the other day and I saw this "don’t despise your mother when she is old" and I thought to myself, do mothers get more despicable with age? For many years I did not have a relationship with my mother whether good or bad, we are extremely different in every way from the way we look to the way we view life. Over the years especially after my father's passing, we somehow grew closer.

 I remember reading a Ka-bashian article(article bashing the Kadashians) and in the midst of all the negativity someone wrote a comment  about how she admires Kim for the way she honours her mother and as a result she will be the most successful amongst her siblings. After rolling my eyes at the comment thinking Kim's beauty, butt and Sex-tape with Ray J surely had something to do with her success, I remembered she is not the only beautiful woman in LA with a Sex-tape in-fact there are a dime a dozen. The part about honouring her mother stuck with me and I recalled the numerous verses in the Bible about honouring our mothers but I also remembered how some mothers including mine could be difficult sometimes.

While hanging out with my mother recently I told her about the verse in Proverb 23:22 and asked her why the writer used the word 'despise' and if Mothers grew more despicable as they got older(I clothed the entire conversation in jokes as I still have an African Mother!) Her answer and reaction shocked me, first of all she laughed(phew! {insert your mother's dramatic reaction}) and said she recently had a similar conversation with God about my grandmother and he gave her a revelation that changed the way she saw her mother. 

Like me, my mother and grandmother are polar opposites with nothing in common, they barely look like they are from the same country and their personalities couldn't be more different. My grandmother moved in with my mother a couple of years ago and their personalities rubbed each other off the wrong way.  My mother took this to God and He told her to be grateful that her mother is still alive, her mother is not living with a terminal disease and is not a financial and physical burden on her, she has the ability and strength to take care of her mother and bless her. My mother said this changed her perspective and attitude towards her mother greatly.

Now back to the subject, do mothers get despicable as they get older? Or should the question be, does your perspective towards your mother change as you get older?  The way I see it is, the more you know someone the more visible and magnified their flaws will be and being in close proximity makes it seem worse. I learnt from my mother that whether you feel mother is despicable, annoying or overbearing if your change your perspective and appreciate her being in your life. Loving and honouring her will be a lot easier and by doing that you will be sowing good seed for your self cos you too will be a despicable mother some day!



Nemi x

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